Timotheose - A son in the Faith

Well, I spent my last night in the Shelter and was sorely temped by an offer to stay the night at the Servants but I wanted to finish well.

I've lost Gio. He went and stayed at a friends place on Wednesday night and we were supposed to meet downtown yesterday morning but he didn't show. I am going to wait for a bit to see if he shows up at the Servants house.

I called mah Brothah' TheCGS and he is just coming into town so I am going to get a ride with him to the ferry at 1:00pm.

I'm glad to be coming home.

I wonder how free we really are in the lives we lead.

How many true independent, free willed choices went into your or my life?

I am not a determinist , I do believe that we have free will and that our choices matter but I am convinced that the choices that we do make are not made in a vacuum. We are encouraged to make choices that conform to our cultural identity, our parents expectations, our economic reality our peer groups and our own internal desires. Ultimately I believe that we have the ability to agree or disagree, to follow and conform or, to rebel and be different from these influences. But even this choice is most likely influenced by heredity as early childhood studies are making a convincing argument that our personality traits are indicated VERY early on. So I ask, how free are we?

Right now, in my current situation I am wrestling with issues like this. I live in a broken, dysfunctional community that despite this has some very endearing and positive qualities. I wonder why people end up here? How does a Christian, faced with such blatant self-destruction and sinfulness navigate lovingly and wisely through this landscape of human misery? Do you just simply, as has been done in the past say that they are all 'lost' and 'sinners' and attempt to 'reform' them? How does one truly follow Christ's example?

The facts of Christ's life is that he did not hesitate to fellowship with the 'lepers' and the 'unclean' of his culture. He chose to live with them, to share with them and ultimately to declare freedom and life to them.

I want to see the truth.


Maranatha and Shalom and blessings to you and yours.

A few thoughts, free-form and real

I'm walking back from mass, it's morning and I'm tired, a bit hungry and feeling worn out. My mind is not working too well, its sluggish and I'm just kind of coasting, not thinking, just walking. I would really like a coffee or a tea and maybe a place to sit down as I haven't had anything other than 2 cups of tea since yesterday about this time. Gio and I got separated and I'm alone now and my heart is heavy. I begin to long for some human contact and just a place to get out from the streets, the chaos and turmoil. I think of a few places I can go so I begin to walk. I don't plan anything, it's not like I have pressing business anywhere so I just walk. One place after the next is closed or not open yet. And so I walk. I think of a place that I know where there are fellow Christians and so I head there, they even have coffee I'll bet. I'm getting a little excited as I climb the many stairs and when I get to the top, I'm a little out of breath and when asked "Can we help you?" I can only mumble "I was here the other day .. there was coffee." The young lady replies "Oh, that ... that's at night time, come back then." UGH !!! Rejected. My heart breaks and as stupid as it sounds I almost wanted to cry. Here is an oasis, a resting spot, my 'people' and I am denied, unwanted .. rejected.

A little dramatic perhaps but I know that the Lord was and is speaking to me in it. The place where I was seeking rest is actually a school during the day and it was totally understandable that they did not give me what I needed or wanted. In fact as I sat on the stairs and pulled out my journal and wrote a bit the teacher, who I had met came up and pretty soon the class was under full sway.

What I take from the experience was a heightened awareness of the consequences of both real and imaginary rejection and how easily it is to 'miss' those moments of need that I am sure pass us by every day no matter where we are and where we live.

Every time that a person is rejected, real or perceived there is a whole series of other messages that are communicated; unworthiness, unlovable, less-than, outsider, unclean. I am becoming convinced that the poor, addicted and homeless are becoming or are our cultures 'lepers' and 'tax collectors'.


When does this rejection begin?
When does this it end?


"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen." Jude 1:24-26


Blessings

Well, last night Gio and I went to an AA meeting about 10 blocks from DTES in Yaletown

Known to many as Vancouver’s little Soho, Yaletown has experienced a revival in the past several years to emerge as downtown’s trendiest residential neighbourhood for urban professionals. Impeccably hip, Yaletown is brimming with quality restaurants, boutiques, and galleries. It is a neighbourhood to see-and-be-seen.

and I couldn't help but notice the HUGE gulf of wealth and affluence between the two districts. It was like I stepped onto another planet.





It was amazing what 10 city blocks can do to a persons prospects. My attitude is becoming a bit 'jaded' and as I sat in the meeting I found myself criticizing and characterizing those in attendance as 'rich' and 'uncaring'. And though there is a certain truth inherent to my internal character assassinations I had to ask for forgiveness and we walked back home.

I woke up this morning quite stiff. Funny considering that I now have some blankets whereas before I didn't have any and my back seemed to be fine. Because I am now carrying everything that I own in a black garbage back I have got first hand experience into why the homeless tend to 'throw out' their laundry. The fact is I have to carry all that I own wherever I go, and as I don't have a car that means I walk wherever I go. All that I really 'need' to carry with me is my bedding, which btw takes up quite a bit of space. So, I like others in my situation 'ditched' my clothes back at the Servants house and am only carrying what I am wearing.

While Gio and I were coming back from the Central Library yesterday afternoon we were having a 'discussion' about a sermon we heard the other day. I noticed that a young lady was listening to our conversation with some interest. As it turns out her name is Caitlyn and she was a Salvation Army 'Sergeant' and was a member of the 614 Corps, a of core mostly young dedicated Salvationists living incarnationally in the DTES (Downtown East Side). They have a War Room which has a prayer room and they had a great idea I think I might want to steal. As each person leaves the prayer room they write in a journal what it is that the Lord spoke to them about. I was priviledged to read a few of the entries and I was touched by the outpouring of love that these young, brave souls are witnessing coming from our God through their fervent prayers. As an aside Caitlyn made a great comment when I spoke to her about the whole 'laundry' issue. She said that she loved to see it when friends she had met on the streets asked to borrow their laundry facilities because it showed that they were beginning to 'take care of themselves more'.

In the morning Gio and I decided to stay at the First United for breakfast and had the joy of tasting weiner soup !!!! Along with the shredded wieners were a few sliced carrots and some diced onions, VERY salty. I can say that I will most likely not be having that again (due to the fact I will be fasting for the last three days of my stay here). The place was getting pretty 'rowdy' and chaotic and so we took our leave and began to make our way to the Library. I begin to see why some people 'choose' to sleep outside. Through the night there is no silence and no break in the background noise of snores, yelling, moans and or people shuffling around the place. The other night I was awoken at about 3:00am by a knocking as someone was knocking on the pew I was sleeping on. I tried to be calm and 'let it go', praying for patience but I eventually got up and partly yelled, partly asked the person to stop it. Others chimed in and I finally was able to get back to sleep. Imagine someone without my HUGE (joking) amount of self control in a situation like that and you can see why some leave these places and camp outside.

On the way there we made a stop at the Holy Rosary Cathedral church, a magnificent Roman Catholic church on Richards Street. We walked around the perimeter of the church amazed at the stained glass windows that depicted the life, death and resurrection of Christ and we even managed to decipher one panel dedicated to St. Patrick of Ireland. We took a moment to pray just as the pipe organ began to play. Beautiful, and all too soon ended as we then hit the 'concrete jungle' and left the serene oasis of the church.

God is good and continues to reveal himself to us. I am seeing how my experience these past few days is hardly anything like what those who live here deal with and yet God still teaches me and continues to soften my heart. I know that this will end. I know that on Friday I will board a ferry and come back to Victoria where I have family, friends and loved ones waiting. I know that I will wake up on Saturday morning, warm, in a quiet bed and I will look forward to the day knowing hope, happiness and freedom. This knowledge gives me strength to continue and to find joy in my simple experiences. Those that I meet and speak to do not have that luxury and I pray that I never ever forget that.

Gio's cold/cough is getting a bit better and I thank God that the First United is open for us.


Maranatha and Shalom to you all, thank you for your prayers.

Just a little update. Gio and I are doing well, if not a little sore and a bit tired but the Lord is teaching us tons.

We left the house on Saturday evening after having a great meal with the community, a church service and then participating in the evening prayer time. I planned it to be something of a psychologically impactful moment as I shut the door on all of the great times, laughter and love that I had experienced during the week and I must admit that my heart was heavy as we headed out into the streets.

We have been staying at the First United Church, or more literally sleeping on the pew seats which are long, hard benches. It has taken some getting used to as our backs get pretty sore but thankfully it is inside and it is warm.

On Sunday we participated in a poverty awareness raising event called the Poverty Olympics. It started with a parade down E. Hastings and culminated in a skit/presentation of the Poverty Games at the Japanese Language School. The media where there but frankly the reason we and a good number of the residents of the DES was to get some food and five bucks!!! I for one felt a great amount of solidarity and fellowship during the event. We finished the day with a service at Granview Cavalry Baptist Church where some excellent hot soup was served along with a fairly controversial sermon on human sexuality. The person giving the sermon came from the L'Abri community here in BC and I hope to go there and learn from their community sometime this year.

Today I had a hot shower, washed my clothes and watched a movie in a drop in centre called Lifeskills just across from Oppenheimer Park. We watched 'Into the Wild' and I must admit to being quite profoundly moved by the story in light of what I was doing and where I was.

My feet are sore, I have a few blisters 'cause we walk wherever we go and I carry all of my worldly 'possessions' in a black plastic bag with me which is getting heavier as I go. I now have two blankets, a change of clothes and some toiletries so it is getting heavier. Small comforts but comforts nonetheless.

Please continue to pray for all the poor here in Vancouver and around the world, but most specifically in our own backyards.


Maranatha

Well, as of 10pm I am going to be homeless. My friend Giovanni and I will be spending the next 6 nights on the streets of East Van.

Pray for us and those we meet that we and they may know the love of Him who sent us.


Maranatha

The Servants have developed an awesome little initiative they call "prehab' that I would like to share with you all.

When a person 'makes a decision' to get or try to get clean or sober the struggle for recovery is only beginning. This step, though important is not the only thing that needs to take place to maximize the potential for recovery.

Usually a person will begin to seek out avenues of aid to help them in this decision. I am happy to relate that there are many avenues for assistance at this point. Treatment options are plentiful but sadly there is usually a significant delay before the person can actually get 'in' any of them. This space in time is where prehab comes in.

For example, take Peter, who is sleeping on a mattress in the living room beside me. Servants have seen him here and there in the neighborhood and just recently he has expressed the desire to get clean. Unfortunately there is usually a 10 to 30 day delay between application and acceptance into treatment. What does he do?

I ran into Peter at the UGM (United Gospel Mission) drop in early Thursday morning. I did not know him at the time and he was in line for a muffin and egg ahead of me. Someone just behind him began to give him a hard time about his decision to quite doing drugs, saying that he didn't need any help and that recovery was for 'girls'. There was a little 'dust up' at that and though I tried to connect with him to encourage him he left real quick after that and I did not see him till yesterday aftwernoon here at the house.

Praise God!!! The Lord is good and He does answer prayers and the community here has invited him to stay with them in a safe place until his start date in treatment.

I ask you though, what would have happened to Peter if the Servants were not here? What other challenges would he have to face in order to even get into treatment? How would people have looked at him on the streets if he were to succumb again? How would we have looked at him?


Maranatha

Well, I am a bit upset cause I didn't get any pictures of movie night last nigh here in Vancouver. It was a blast.

We set up a blanket and white sheet to hang between the window and then used a laptop and projector to display two classic hits of the 80's.

Back to the Future Pt. 2

and

Die Unendliche Geschichte

We had a number of 'friends' over to watch them and I was struck by how much fun we had even though the entertainment was less than stellar. We laughed and joked and had WAY too much food.

I loved the 'mixing' that took place as some of our guests were from the surroiunding community, some staying in rundown slum apartments or living on the streets. We had a young man who works in a bank and a few young ladies that are going to University. Surely this equality in diversity is what Heaven will be like.


Maranatha

We had two dinner guests last night. David brought them back to us and we had an awesome time. They were both First Nations, Harry is from a band on Vancouver Island's west coast and Eli was from a village called Bella Bella on Campbell Island. They have been staying at First United just down the street.

In speaking to them I found myself getting in touch with some of the major struggles and tragedies that are facing our countries First Nations people. Eli shared how he has learned some of his native language but he is seeing his 'elders' passing off without transmitting their language and culture to future generations. He most likely struggles with alcohol addiction and is unable to return to stay as he is nearing the age of 'eldership' himself. Harry has been here in the Lower Eastside for 30+ years !!! He says he only gets back to his home when he attends funerals, which he says are happening more often.

These men were true gentlemen throughout the evening and although I left at 7:15 to get to an NA meeting and did not get to see them leave I really enjoyed spending time with them. It strikes me that one of the HUGE benefits of practicing radical hospitality is that once you really get to know someone you begin to empathize and personalize their struggles. As in the case of Harry and Eli I am now studying more bout the First Nations struggles and challenges in our modern culture. Through the Spirit's urgings that I think are heightened through close, communal contact I begin to desire to 'champion' their cause.

This, I believe is one reason why we have a homeless and/or poverty 'problem'. Our culture today is splintered, fragmented and fundamentally divorced from the sufferings of its poor and downtrodden. Most Christians do not have an opportunity, or do not make the opportunity to get to 'know' as Christ knows those who are less fortunate in our culture and so it is easy to distance oneself from their suffering. This distancing or objectifying is IMO a type of 'quenching' of the Holy Spirit in his attempts to mold us into a people who champion justice, mercy and grace and as such is completely out of step with the Christian faith.


Maranatha

Have you ever wanted to simplify your life?
Have you ever wanted to slow things down a bit?
Do you wonder if the race you're running is really worth it?

More and more I am coming to see and experience the value of Christian community living. Every day I am blessed by it and want to share it with others. There is an amazingly potent mix of prayer, music, sharing, work and joy here that seems to soothe my soul and heart.

Our culture is saturated with the belief that being 'independent' and 'successful' are the highest ends and goals of life. Even our Christian culture is influenced by these beliefs. It seems to me the expectation of most mainline Christian culture for its young people is for them to go to school, marry, buy a house and raise a family. These goals in and of themselves are not bad but I think they are somewhat shortsighted in light of the saving grace the we have in Christ. In our church's as in the wider secular culture at large, if you do not have a career path, a car, and some type of relationship prospects you are considered 'less than'.

I can't help but think that we don't have much influence in our culture today because we don't differ from our culture much. We have the same dreams, the same aspirations, the same values (more or less) we just seem to want to do it a bit 'nicer', a bit 'kinder'.

When I look down the annals of history at those Christian movements which made a difference I see courageous souls who stood in direct opposition to the status quo. They said that life in God's Kingdom is of a different sort than the rest of the world, and they lived it out.

I believe that community living can be, and is like that in our culture. Living as an extended Christian family flies in the face of conventional wisdom and yet opens up so many gifts and joys in the process.


Maranatha

Downtown Eastside is where Servants Vancouver is located. Here is an interesting overview of the area and as I don't have a camera it does give a few pictures of the dilapidated buildings that make up the core.

As I've said, each member of the house, unless they are in intensive training for mission overseas is actively engaged in relationship building on the streets throughout the day. There are multiple drop-in centers and soup lines and other gathering places that we visit seeking to 'connect' with the people of the area. Friendships are nurtured and or build over coffee or having food at any of the many low-cost soup or community kitchens.

It's amazing how many people in the area are broken by their addictions and their lifestyles. Often you will see addicts in full psychosis, arms flailing doing what is known as the Hastings Shuffle which not all of you have witnessed but if you REALLY interested here and here are a few examples caught on film (beware the faint of heart). Drug sales occur out in the open and walking by the corner of Hastings and Main you will be greeted with calls for "Meth, Crack, Certaline, smoke". The funny thing is the main Vancouver Police station is located just up the block from the place. Every once in a while the police will show up in force and the dealers and users will move on to the alleys and down the street but for the most part it is an accepted part of the landscape.

I've met two people that I know or knew in passing in Victoria. Both seem to be doing well and one is even working at First United on the night shift which has opened its doors and its sanctuary, and its hallways at the insistence of the cities mayor after the Dec. 19th 2008 death of a homeless women named Tracey. She died in a fire that got out control that she herself set to stay warm during an exceptionally cold night on the streets.

Continue to pray for the lost and the broken ...

Maranatha

Yesterday was a busy day. Even though the pace of community life here is much slower, calmer and less frantic than elsewhere I still managed to stay quite active throughout the day. The fact that there are other Christians here engaged in their own street ministries and I am a guest lends itself for MANY opportunities to tag along with my fellow community members on their journey's.

The house as I have said is located on E. Hastings, just two and a half blocks from Main so it is right in the middle of one of the poorest neighborhoods in Canada and also one of the areas with the highest rates of HIV and HepC and drug addiction. Just down the street is Canada's somewhat controversial and only legalized injection site called Insite.

It has 4 bedrooms and we currently have 8 adults and 2 children living here.

Craig and Nay, a married couple with two beautiful children; Micah, a 4 year old daughter and Jayden a 6 year old boy are the 'heart' of the house. They both are heavily involved in the Servants of Asia ministry and Craig is in fact just now coming back from a trip to England where he had a speaking engagement there on behalf of the Ministry. He was suppossed to get back on Monday but has been delayed twice because of snow, once in London and again in Chicago. Nay is a formidable personality herself and leads a number of teaching sessions in the house.

Jason and Laura are a couple preparing to go to Indonesia, I have not met them as they are with Craig and are due back today. I am told that Jason has had a heart for Indonesia for years and is now finally getting to realize his calling by going there very soon.

David is my roommate. He is a young man, American from Indiana and I believe he said he was 26 years old. He has an amazingly 'light' personality and loves to sing and play guitar which has been quite awesome as it's great to hear praises to the Lord often. He has been here for 6 months and is coming to the end of his internship.

Ruth is a woman from California with a keen intellect and a servants heart. She has decided to stay for a years internship to further discover and refine her calling.

Alana, another American is part Chinese and is also staying for a years internship.


Servants of Vancouver helps prepare missionaries for service overseas and also reaches out into the surrounding lower eastside of Vancouver. Each member of the house is actively engaged in going out into the streets and making loving, Christ-centred connections with the residents of this broken and impoverished area of Canada. Often, they bring home these 'friends' and we get to share and talk to them.

There is sooooo much going on here that I could write more but as the computer is used by more than myelf I will log off and catch you all up later.

Maranatha

As the community is a 'monastic' community in spirit we have a daily 'rhythm' which encapsulates a few daily spiritual disciplines.

In the morning at 7:30am a gong is rung to signify a time for prayer. We gather together around a few lit candle in the early morning light and turn towards the Lord and the coming day. One of the residents begins by reading a section of scripture, this morning's was Mark 5 21-43, a story of the Lord's healing of the woman who touched his cloak and the raising of the Jarius' daughter from the dead.

We eat our evening meals together and fend for ourselves for breakfast and lunch. Guests appear to be frequent, this morning, David, one of the residents rose quite early and went to a shelter that serves breakfast and he met two 'friends', Frank and Joshua and brought them in for some food. We sat and chatted for a bit and practiced a little 'radical hospitality'.

In the evenings we have another time of communal prayer to close out the day. We gather again around the small table, this time in the light of a lone streetlamp shining through the window and light two candles. We open with a simple song and a psalm is read, followed by an 'Evening Awareness Examen'. This last bit is really quite interesting as it calls us to examine our day prayerfully in five areas of focus ...

1. Thanksgiving ...
   
2. Ask for Light ...
   
3. finding God in all things ...
4. Respond to God in dialogue ...
5. help and guidance for tomorrow ...

There is a small prayer room called the 'prayer corner' set aside which has a few crosses and prayers and scripture quotes on the walls for those seeking a little solitude throughout the day.

Maranatha

As some of you might know, the Lord has led me in the direction of seeking out opportunities for actively living out my Christian faith. To this end I believe that he has brought me to consider and explore intentional communities and more specifically those types of communities which are modeled after the New Monastic tradition. Which brings me to East Vancouver.

I am right now living in a community house hosted by Servants of Asia called Servants of Vancouver which

is an intentional Christian community, based in the Downtown Eastside, made up of singles, marrieds and children. We are a community called to practice radical hospitality amongst those who are marginalized in our society.

and is located only two and a half blocks from the corner of Hastings and Main, the heart of East Van where much of the drug trafficking and prostitution occurs in Vancouver.

I will be updating my blog regularly to let you all know what I am doing and who I have met on my journey and I ask for your prayers, I covet them and need them.

Maranatha