Timotheose - A son in the Faith

Well, I spent my last night in the Shelter and was sorely temped by an offer to stay the night at the Servants but I wanted to finish well.

I've lost Gio. He went and stayed at a friends place on Wednesday night and we were supposed to meet downtown yesterday morning but he didn't show. I am going to wait for a bit to see if he shows up at the Servants house.

I called mah Brothah' TheCGS and he is just coming into town so I am going to get a ride with him to the ferry at 1:00pm.

I'm glad to be coming home.

I wonder how free we really are in the lives we lead.

How many true independent, free willed choices went into your or my life?

I am not a determinist , I do believe that we have free will and that our choices matter but I am convinced that the choices that we do make are not made in a vacuum. We are encouraged to make choices that conform to our cultural identity, our parents expectations, our economic reality our peer groups and our own internal desires. Ultimately I believe that we have the ability to agree or disagree, to follow and conform or, to rebel and be different from these influences. But even this choice is most likely influenced by heredity as early childhood studies are making a convincing argument that our personality traits are indicated VERY early on. So I ask, how free are we?

Right now, in my current situation I am wrestling with issues like this. I live in a broken, dysfunctional community that despite this has some very endearing and positive qualities. I wonder why people end up here? How does a Christian, faced with such blatant self-destruction and sinfulness navigate lovingly and wisely through this landscape of human misery? Do you just simply, as has been done in the past say that they are all 'lost' and 'sinners' and attempt to 'reform' them? How does one truly follow Christ's example?

The facts of Christ's life is that he did not hesitate to fellowship with the 'lepers' and the 'unclean' of his culture. He chose to live with them, to share with them and ultimately to declare freedom and life to them.

I want to see the truth.


Maranatha and Shalom and blessings to you and yours.

A few thoughts, free-form and real

I'm walking back from mass, it's morning and I'm tired, a bit hungry and feeling worn out. My mind is not working too well, its sluggish and I'm just kind of coasting, not thinking, just walking. I would really like a coffee or a tea and maybe a place to sit down as I haven't had anything other than 2 cups of tea since yesterday about this time. Gio and I got separated and I'm alone now and my heart is heavy. I begin to long for some human contact and just a place to get out from the streets, the chaos and turmoil. I think of a few places I can go so I begin to walk. I don't plan anything, it's not like I have pressing business anywhere so I just walk. One place after the next is closed or not open yet. And so I walk. I think of a place that I know where there are fellow Christians and so I head there, they even have coffee I'll bet. I'm getting a little excited as I climb the many stairs and when I get to the top, I'm a little out of breath and when asked "Can we help you?" I can only mumble "I was here the other day .. there was coffee." The young lady replies "Oh, that ... that's at night time, come back then." UGH !!! Rejected. My heart breaks and as stupid as it sounds I almost wanted to cry. Here is an oasis, a resting spot, my 'people' and I am denied, unwanted .. rejected.

A little dramatic perhaps but I know that the Lord was and is speaking to me in it. The place where I was seeking rest is actually a school during the day and it was totally understandable that they did not give me what I needed or wanted. In fact as I sat on the stairs and pulled out my journal and wrote a bit the teacher, who I had met came up and pretty soon the class was under full sway.

What I take from the experience was a heightened awareness of the consequences of both real and imaginary rejection and how easily it is to 'miss' those moments of need that I am sure pass us by every day no matter where we are and where we live.

Every time that a person is rejected, real or perceived there is a whole series of other messages that are communicated; unworthiness, unlovable, less-than, outsider, unclean. I am becoming convinced that the poor, addicted and homeless are becoming or are our cultures 'lepers' and 'tax collectors'.


When does this rejection begin?
When does this it end?


"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen." Jude 1:24-26


Blessings

Well, last night Gio and I went to an AA meeting about 10 blocks from DTES in Yaletown

Known to many as Vancouver’s little Soho, Yaletown has experienced a revival in the past several years to emerge as downtown’s trendiest residential neighbourhood for urban professionals. Impeccably hip, Yaletown is brimming with quality restaurants, boutiques, and galleries. It is a neighbourhood to see-and-be-seen.

and I couldn't help but notice the HUGE gulf of wealth and affluence between the two districts. It was like I stepped onto another planet.





It was amazing what 10 city blocks can do to a persons prospects. My attitude is becoming a bit 'jaded' and as I sat in the meeting I found myself criticizing and characterizing those in attendance as 'rich' and 'uncaring'. And though there is a certain truth inherent to my internal character assassinations I had to ask for forgiveness and we walked back home.

I woke up this morning quite stiff. Funny considering that I now have some blankets whereas before I didn't have any and my back seemed to be fine. Because I am now carrying everything that I own in a black garbage back I have got first hand experience into why the homeless tend to 'throw out' their laundry. The fact is I have to carry all that I own wherever I go, and as I don't have a car that means I walk wherever I go. All that I really 'need' to carry with me is my bedding, which btw takes up quite a bit of space. So, I like others in my situation 'ditched' my clothes back at the Servants house and am only carrying what I am wearing.

While Gio and I were coming back from the Central Library yesterday afternoon we were having a 'discussion' about a sermon we heard the other day. I noticed that a young lady was listening to our conversation with some interest. As it turns out her name is Caitlyn and she was a Salvation Army 'Sergeant' and was a member of the 614 Corps, a of core mostly young dedicated Salvationists living incarnationally in the DTES (Downtown East Side). They have a War Room which has a prayer room and they had a great idea I think I might want to steal. As each person leaves the prayer room they write in a journal what it is that the Lord spoke to them about. I was priviledged to read a few of the entries and I was touched by the outpouring of love that these young, brave souls are witnessing coming from our God through their fervent prayers. As an aside Caitlyn made a great comment when I spoke to her about the whole 'laundry' issue. She said that she loved to see it when friends she had met on the streets asked to borrow their laundry facilities because it showed that they were beginning to 'take care of themselves more'.

In the morning Gio and I decided to stay at the First United for breakfast and had the joy of tasting weiner soup !!!! Along with the shredded wieners were a few sliced carrots and some diced onions, VERY salty. I can say that I will most likely not be having that again (due to the fact I will be fasting for the last three days of my stay here). The place was getting pretty 'rowdy' and chaotic and so we took our leave and began to make our way to the Library. I begin to see why some people 'choose' to sleep outside. Through the night there is no silence and no break in the background noise of snores, yelling, moans and or people shuffling around the place. The other night I was awoken at about 3:00am by a knocking as someone was knocking on the pew I was sleeping on. I tried to be calm and 'let it go', praying for patience but I eventually got up and partly yelled, partly asked the person to stop it. Others chimed in and I finally was able to get back to sleep. Imagine someone without my HUGE (joking) amount of self control in a situation like that and you can see why some leave these places and camp outside.

On the way there we made a stop at the Holy Rosary Cathedral church, a magnificent Roman Catholic church on Richards Street. We walked around the perimeter of the church amazed at the stained glass windows that depicted the life, death and resurrection of Christ and we even managed to decipher one panel dedicated to St. Patrick of Ireland. We took a moment to pray just as the pipe organ began to play. Beautiful, and all too soon ended as we then hit the 'concrete jungle' and left the serene oasis of the church.

God is good and continues to reveal himself to us. I am seeing how my experience these past few days is hardly anything like what those who live here deal with and yet God still teaches me and continues to soften my heart. I know that this will end. I know that on Friday I will board a ferry and come back to Victoria where I have family, friends and loved ones waiting. I know that I will wake up on Saturday morning, warm, in a quiet bed and I will look forward to the day knowing hope, happiness and freedom. This knowledge gives me strength to continue and to find joy in my simple experiences. Those that I meet and speak to do not have that luxury and I pray that I never ever forget that.

Gio's cold/cough is getting a bit better and I thank God that the First United is open for us.


Maranatha and Shalom to you all, thank you for your prayers.

Just a little update. Gio and I are doing well, if not a little sore and a bit tired but the Lord is teaching us tons.

We left the house on Saturday evening after having a great meal with the community, a church service and then participating in the evening prayer time. I planned it to be something of a psychologically impactful moment as I shut the door on all of the great times, laughter and love that I had experienced during the week and I must admit that my heart was heavy as we headed out into the streets.

We have been staying at the First United Church, or more literally sleeping on the pew seats which are long, hard benches. It has taken some getting used to as our backs get pretty sore but thankfully it is inside and it is warm.

On Sunday we participated in a poverty awareness raising event called the Poverty Olympics. It started with a parade down E. Hastings and culminated in a skit/presentation of the Poverty Games at the Japanese Language School. The media where there but frankly the reason we and a good number of the residents of the DES was to get some food and five bucks!!! I for one felt a great amount of solidarity and fellowship during the event. We finished the day with a service at Granview Cavalry Baptist Church where some excellent hot soup was served along with a fairly controversial sermon on human sexuality. The person giving the sermon came from the L'Abri community here in BC and I hope to go there and learn from their community sometime this year.

Today I had a hot shower, washed my clothes and watched a movie in a drop in centre called Lifeskills just across from Oppenheimer Park. We watched 'Into the Wild' and I must admit to being quite profoundly moved by the story in light of what I was doing and where I was.

My feet are sore, I have a few blisters 'cause we walk wherever we go and I carry all of my worldly 'possessions' in a black plastic bag with me which is getting heavier as I go. I now have two blankets, a change of clothes and some toiletries so it is getting heavier. Small comforts but comforts nonetheless.

Please continue to pray for all the poor here in Vancouver and around the world, but most specifically in our own backyards.


Maranatha